Mighty Moments 2011 pt. 1: Loss, nightmares and toenails

2011's almost done and I can't help but think about the things that happened over the year. Was this year a good one or a bad one? You can tell only by the memories you make.

This is my attempt to count down the Mighty Moments of 2011. I'm posting the worst ones first, because I want to remember what I went through this year. Also, it's the challenges and hardship that make someone stronger. Somehow, I think I did.

So here goes...

10. One of the scariest dreams of my life
A dream isn't a real memory (or is it?), but this one was so damn scary I can't forget it. I was one of those dreams where I woke up with the chills. The dream starts out with my ex's parents waking me up and congratulating me because I got her pregnant. All hell breaks loose from there.

9. The craziest flight delay
My Boracay trip with my high school buds had a crazy ending because of the delays we had going home. Our flight back was pushed to the next day, so we ended up moving to a creepy resort. When that next day came, we found out in Caticlan airport that we had to change to Kalibo. I curled up on my bed when I finally got home.

Ok, this doesn't do justice to the tedious waiting we endured.

8. Blood exam
I had a blood exam to check out how my health was going. Found out that I was a few points over the normal levels of cholesterol and uric acid. So that means watching what I eat, less of the that oily tasty goodness and more of sad bland food. Ignorance is bliss indeed!

7. My big toenail breaking off
This happened in one of our company outings this year. We were playing beach football and genius that I am, kick the ball with my bad toenail. For the ugly visual click here.

6. The sh*ts of my life
Food gone bad means stomach gone bad. It was signal #3 in the toilet and had to work from home for a week. If you're sick and want more details, click here.

5. Got NTE'd for the first time
This was the first major work blunder I had ever since going back to Wideout. I was at Bangkok with Anj and my boss asks if my reports are done. I knew they were done, so I said they were done. They weren't. My boss made me write my own NTE (notice to explain).

4. Kulit gets lost
Anj's parents gave me a dog we could use as a guard dog for my dad's new farm. So after a month of getting attached to it in the house, I finally let him go to do his job. After a few months, the workers there tell us that he's gone missing. Never saw him again. I hope he's in a better place.

If you find this dog please return him to me.

 3. My Peruvian guinea pig Joonie dies
Second pet tragedy on this list, my pet guinea pig Joonie dies from what I could only describe as loosing it. After a few months of putting his cage in the garden we found him dead in his cage, biting one of the bars. I guess this was more of a lesson for me to be more responsible when taking care of pets.


2. The long December
This was probably the most tiring december I've had in my life. Work was really busy with trying to fix things with our clients. It was such a long checklist of things to do, we had to Google Doc a spreadsheet just for it. Also, I made another reporting error this month which sucked. All that plus a lot of drama, made for a very very long December.

1. Shirley Dies
After a good long life our family shih tsu Shirley dies from I don't even know what. Must have been something really bad because a lot happened to her that should have killed her before. Falls, cars and freaking time wouldn't even kill her. Even though she became damn stinky and cranky, she was still my dog and it was a really sad day when she passed.

Back when I was thin and she was not smelly.

So these are worst Mighty Moments of 2011. Had to deal with a lot of mistakes and loss. I'm glad though that there was a lot to learn from these experiences and pets live on in our memories. Nightmares stay nightmares, and it's time to live out dreams. Looking back, it doesn't feel so bad. I feel good now that I can laugh about these moving on.

Christmas post

Christmas this year was great. As usual things, were fun and loud in the house and gifts giving is always fun. Family was complete plus a new addition to the family with my brother's new kid.

What was different with this Christmas was that everyone was busy. Work was crazy and everyone else was either going out to parties and scrambling for last minute gifts. But still, I'm glad that as the 24th got closer, things started to get more and more Christmas-y. It may have not been the best December of my life, but it was definitely one that felt worth it in the end.

Our Christmas Tree

That night though, we had to get my brother asthma medicine in Mercury Drug and good thing the one near our house was open. We went in and saw some really tired looking sales people. As thankful as I was, I felt really bad for those people who had to work on Christmas night.

Thinking about it, we were lucky. Realized a lot of families were not able to have a Christmas like the one we had. Anj and her brother spent Christmas eve on the airplane home from Singapore and got home missing noche buena. My brother's girlfriend spent it in the hospital with her mom and the new kid. My cousins were at the hospital too with their lola in the ICU. And those were only the people I know. Hundreds of families in Cagayan de Oro and other grief striken places are having Christmases that hurt just thinking about it.

As much as I can complain about how hard this December was, I think it doesn't really compare with what a lot of other people are going through. So yes, I'm now very thankful for the December and Christmas that I was able to experience. Having family together on the holidays is already gift enough to enjoy the season.

And for those people who have unfortunate holidays, I guess the best we could do is be generous no matter what the season. I don't think there's any rule against gift-giving outside of Christmas. If you could make someone feel special whenever you can, then maybe everyone can feel a bit of Christmas all year round.

Let's all be off-season Santas.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Be a crayon in someone's life, not an eraser.

Fight crazy with crazy

I will remember this month as the hardest December of my life. I don’t know why but for some reason things are not going well over at work. We got issues to resolve, projects to finish and clients to make happy. Plus one big crapola is that there was a reporting mistake I was involved in. That in my job is a big deal because I’m supposed to be the data guy in the company.

Yeah, it was hard trying to find out how to make it right plus having that painful conversation with my boss. Adding to that the pending stuff on my plate, officially makes this December pretty darn crazy.

So what do I do? Nothing else but get back up and fight. Learn from the mistake and move on to kick ass. The month’s not over and it’s not too late to make it awesome. (did I just pep talk myself?)

In the spirit of fighting back and feeling good, I had myself a haircut. It represents fighting this crazy month with crazy.

The only thing I want on my plate this Christmas is ham. And that’s how it’s going to be.

What is Mightyoranda?

Everyone owns their own personal fishbowl, living within means and capabilities.
That is only where we start.
Everyone has the creativity to dream big and live life beyond the glass walls.
It's because we can see through those walls and discover what else we can do.
We be negative, we realize how small we live and drown.
Instead we be hopeful, active, generous and kind.

We be mighty.

Never afraid to break free from the bowl.

A party before Christmas

Remember when I said that the host of the party enjoys the least during the party? Guess what, I ended up hosting out company's Christmas party again. This time was different though. I don't feel like I missed out because it was like a big, fast, enjoyable blur that was satisfying.

I didn't really want to do it first but then again nobody wanted to do it. And for some weird reason, because nobody wanted to do it, I suddenly wanted to. Well, it was that and realizing that it would be a while since I attend another one of these events. If it's the last, then you do it right.

It was a masqueradey Christmas party

Presentations from the newbies were great, it just goes to show the energy they're bringing into the company. I just hope they don't bring their desire to go drag and strip in social events into the office. Games were funny as hell because the bosses joined in. It was the one night where it was cool to laugh at your boss, worth ittt.

What was crazy was that I had only one cup of beer in the party. Good thing we had more drinks in the after party but not so much that I regretted it the day after.

Aside from a soar voice and aching legs, it all just felt right. It was a good party.

Stomachs and ankles

Just got back from a trip to Singapore to visit Anj. Funny thing though was that this time, she was the one that needed care because she severely sprained her ankle. Ok, that isn't really funny but it's kind of ironic, me and my stomach probems a few weeks ago and now her with her ankle.

Now a sprained ankle doesn't sound that bad, but this one was crazy. And being in a city where most of what you do is walk, that's just not cool. Still, we managed to have a good time and had awesome food in Singapore.

It's not the place you're in but the people you are with that counts. And the food.

Yummeey.

Sh*t happens

Had the sh*ts of my life last week. Me and my siblings got caught with a real bad case of bacterial infectious diarrhea.

A week ago my family had some awesome tasting wagyu shawarma, or it must have been all the milk tea drinks I've been drinking or something else. And that's probably what got us. A day after we were all losing fluids and nutrients faster than we could take them. Imagine a super typhoon in the toilet. Literally crazy sh*t.

It was actually so bad that I had to miss work for a week and go to the hospital three times to have myself checked. What's bad too was that this came at a time when Anj was coming home from Singapore. So it happened at the worst time ever.

Lesson of the week: Be careful with what you stuff your mouth with.

Halloween Justice

We had our company Halloween party last weekend and it was pretty cool. It was a really good change of setting and it was a lot of fun partying it up with officemates.

Since it was Halloween, I got in the mood to really dress up, as in have a legit Halloween costume. Last Halloween was just me in a barong acting dead on a table. Ok I finally admit that was a crazy and tasteless costume that was just wrong. No, inappropriate. Inappropriately wrong.

So to have a better comeback, I came in as Robin, the boy wonder.
How did that happen? Word got out that the Halloween party would be about dead celebrities. It was a bitch to think about who to come in as so I thought how about a dead superhero. So I thought it would be cool to come in as Jason Todd, who was beaten to death by the Joker.

Check those awesome calves.

A good friend of mine helped me out with the costume and it looked great. Used that getup for both our Halloween party and trick or treating at out village.

It felt really fun running around being a superhero, I was 10 again.

The best thing about this was having the feeling that things were right. Also realizing the fact that my next Halloween would not be here at home makes me feel good that I did Halloween justice this time.

Halloween Justice? Served!

Charity birthday

Did some charity work two Sundays ago. This is a real late post but i still have that charity high. It's not often i get to do stuff like this so

Anyway the charity even i went to was a birthday party for special children. It was for kids who don't celebrate birthdays because of their disabilities. What's cool though is their ability to have a great time. I could see it in their smiles that they really were having fun and that made the whole thing worth it.

I highly encourage doing something for charity or even something nice today. That is a real win.

Shit just got real

there's no other way to put it.

I got into the MBA program of Fordham University in New York.

I actually found out two days ago through email that i got accepted to the spring term 2012. I'm planning to defer it to Fall 2012 so that I have time to prepare, both mentally and emotionally. And I tell you, it's damn scary.

My life is changing and it feels like a season opener on a TV show.
The plan is to now learn as much as I can and train my self to kick ass abroad.

I'll say it again, shit just got real.

The stories of shoes

I donated some shoes today. Someone in the office told me about this donation drive for children of garbage men in Montalban Rizal. Kids there don't have shoes and I don't even want to know how dirty the place is. So, I made a small effort to get the shoes I don't wear anymore and send them off to new owners.

Still, I couldn't help but nostalgic about each shoe that I gave away. Each one has it's own story...

Clockwise from top left:

Adidas Grey Running Shoes. Got them in Hong Kong and I'm know I got good mileage on these. I remember using them a lot in high school and college.

Nike Red Air Zoom Turbine. Probably the most expensive shoe I've bought at 6k. I got these in high school during basketball PE season in college. It was about the time I got experimental with loud colors. 

Nike White Running Shoes. My ex gave me these shoes during one Christmas. I remember receiving them at the airport before going to the province for family vacation. Good mileage on these too.

World Balance White Sneakers. One day I decided to customize my own shoe. Instead of getting an expensive pair of Chucks I went with 250 peso World Balance Shoes. My drawings did not make it look any cooler.

Nike Edge White Cross Training Shoes. I got these around 4 years ago and I know I got good mileage on these. Part of the sole fell out. What I liked about this shoe was it fit my fat feet well.

Pony White Sneakers. This was during the time I wanted to try sneakers instead of rubber shoes. These white Ponies really looked cool, but I didn't like the feel of canvas sneakers.

Nike Black Air Pegasus. These were my solution to the sneaker look. Sneaker look but they were still rubber shoes. wore these a lot and the leather broke on one of them.

Nike White Air Citius. These were actually still good and I could wear them for any occasion. Everyday, games and gym. Pretty solid shoe and this one I'm sure it's new owner will love.

So now, I guess good luck shoes. Thanks for the good times and make your new owners proud.

When outnumbered or outmatched?

“The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave.” –Patrick Henry, speech in the Virginia Convention, 1775

Sermon-ed

Haven't posted in a while so I'll say this:

Sucks to be sermon-ed by your parents when your not at fault.

Not only does the pedestal feel bad but thinking about how your siblings are doing is worse.

Presenting

I was told in the office I was improving in my presentation skills. Awesome.

Missing out or moving forward?

I missed a few weeks. Kind of busy making sure I get things straight in everything.

Anj visited again from Singapore and attended a friend's wedding. It was a great time, even though I didn't do the bachelor's party the week before. I just felt I didn't want to go. Somehow, sleep and chatting with Anj seemed like a better option that night. And it was. The wedding was cool too.

Before the wedding, I skipped a party here in my own house. I didn't want to deal with entertaining people and wanted to just sleep and rest.

When there's some party, I just keep thinking does this further my goals? And end up not partying out. I could be missing out but it might be what makes winners different from people who stay where they are. 

Ahh a theory I must explore.

Oh crap, is this me getting old? I hope not.

When you're into it

Haven't been writing much. Probably because I'm bummed I didn't make the deadline. Funny how things like this happen. If you're not into it, then it probably won't.

Went to visit Anj in Singapore for her birthday. Went to Phuket and Bangkok after that to celebrate. Awesome time. Beautiful beaches and good food. What more can you ask for?

I guess that's the difference between things you're really into and things you're not into. Things you're into really happen and they happen great. Others are just opposite.

Then you question are the things you're into really what you want or need in life?

Ahh questions...

A good long life.

My dog Shirley died today.

Part of me feels sad because she's gone, but a bigger part feels happy because she's lived a full life. 14 years is more than a long time to live for a Shih Tsu and Shirley's escaped death more than a few times.

She's fell down a spiral staircase.
She's fell down a balcony.
She's survived some sort of dog depression.
She's been bitten by the neck by our husky.
She's been backed down by a car.And a lot of other weird things that could happen to a dog.

I guess it was her time to go and I'm glad that eating too much  food was what got you. That's the way to go.

Time for you to live it up in dog heaven.

RIP Shirley.

Delays

So something read dumb happened last week. Well, it was not so much dumb but rather really stupid. And it’s something that really has a big impact on my plans.  

I missed the Fall deadline in the school I wanted to apply in.

How? I didn’t realize that the admission for international students was really a month earlier and I missed it. And it’s really really stupid and careless that I did.

So yeah, my plans for MBA have delayed until I find a school next admission.

Ok, it’s probably obvious that I didn’t really put 100% in this. If I did, I would’ve made the deadline, did all I can to get in and hope a lot to bless the application. As much as I want to say I did, I didn’t.

I will have to admit stupidity isn’t really what caused this but lack of will.

My head was just not in it, but realizing that time will be wasted makes me just want to start again.

Never hesitate, move forward.

Time for leaps

Somehow there always seems to be a way to get distracted from goals. Even so when the goal seems so difficult and challenging. Even when you want it to happen, but it's just so pressuring to get done. And what more if you don't really believe in it?

Each opportunity for flight gets so easy to take and you get rewarded a false comfort of safety. But that safety is staying put, and staying put is not progress.

Maybe it's the change that will happen, or sacrifices you will have to make that makes people fear. It's a stress that takes many forms.

I guess the trick is to use whatever emotion you have and focus that energy, using it to take a leap.

It's time to make some leaps.

Inspire

I noticed in the office that I get away with being light and quirky, particularly during office meetings. Serious office meetings. A lot of people aren't really open to doing that because they're afraid being blasted. I'm used to being blasted and that gives me courage to take risks. Something I want to be able to inspire others to do as well.

So, I got to thinking about what kind of person I am to others. How do they see me? I know I'm the guy that people can make fun of and not give a damn. I want to be something better. I want to inspire people.

Anyway these are ideas floating in my head right now.

Ball rolling now

Sort of got the MBA ball rolling again. Asked my new boss for a recommendation letter and he's actually being mighty helpful. He went to Fordham too so he's got a lot of tips about how it is to take an MBA over there. I'm also checking out my essays and updating them up for this year. Pretty exciting and I really hope this pulls through.

One thing I can't get out of my mind though is whether it's too late to go to MBA. I'm still in the average age stated by MBA statistics but when I look at a lot of my friends, everyone is either getting married, married, having kids or making a lot of money. I am doing neither, and makes me feel like I'm sucking at this.

Yes you should never compare yourself with others, but sometimes you need a peg on how you're doing in life. And apparently this peg is f*ing with my head. I'm tempted to not pull through with the MBA but if I don't what do I do? I know I'm not earning enough to make it on my own, unless I kill myself working. Some people are, but I don't want to be that person.

Maybe I'm over thinking this and just need to take the steps. I think this will turn out right.

New month, new perspective

Had a dream last night. I was having my MBA at the Asian Institute of Management, which is a business school here in the Philippines. I was in school with a lot of high school batchmates and things felt familiar. Then when things started to get weird (too bad I forgot why), I realized it was a dream and woke up.

I think that this is fate's way of telling me that it's April already and I should start send out MBA applications. It's been too long since I've worked on them the past few months because of work. Irresponsible, yes because I saw this coming. work would either get too interesting or busy and excuses for not working on applications kept coming up. I think it's time I worked on them again.

I'm glad my bosses at work are encouraging me to go through with it and even offered me a part time job if I get into New York. A very good option for me, not only to help me financially but also to keep a part of the company while I head on abroad. I have to admit that even if your company is not that great, leaving it behind is really hard to do.

So that's probably what I'm feeling now. Nostalgic, scared and a lot of other things. Most dominant though is the feeling of having to move on and getting on with my life. Make it, make it, make it. Another of my close friends is getting married and makes me wonder where I am right now in my life. Answers aren't there yet but for sure, they aren't found when you compare yourself to others. They surely aren't also found in the past.

As much as I try to keep myself from worrying about everything, something that I have to remember is that forward is the way to go. Stumble along the way and make sure I get there.

Management Training

Did something cool last week. I helped out with our company's management training by facilitating some modules. Teaching was something I really wanted to experience and adding the fact that the subject matter fit my experience the most, I could say that it was a sweet fit. I taught simple project management, capacity management and performance management.

One downside from this though is that I felt how it was to have students. Well, they were not really bad or anything but it really pisses me off when people don't listen and you just get thrown off your game distracted. All I could do was call people out to answer questions and make them look like fools who haven't been listening. C'mon they're not in high school anymore. Office training and employee growth are somethings that are very serious for the company if it wants to succeed. 

Biggest challenge for us during this training was to change perspective. A lot of the participants were still thinking like an employee and not a manager. Making people act like managers and get accountable for things is something very hard to do especially for Filipinos.

Still, I think the participation and reception was great. People always feel better after these things so I'm glad I was able to contribute to the company goal of making employees grow through management training. Last week was hell but it was well worth it.

I hope I get good reviews.

Client visit

We had foreign client visitors in the office two weeks ago and it was a great learning experience for me. This is mainly because I've never had to directly interact with a foreign client since that week. The past work I was doing with Wideout was that I was fixing up logistics for their stay, but now I was actually participating and giving input into things that greatly impact the business.

I had a very high game that week. I was getting myself in meetings and speaking up when I had some ideas. The data I studied came up once in a while although they were a bit raw. I was kind of disappointed with myself for not polishing it enough but I thought they served as a good starting point so that's okay.

Aside from the work, there were the perks and in our case were awesome meals. We had to bring these people to good places to eat and I was there for the ride. I think I was invited to those meals because my office mates thought I was a social kind of guy. Or maybe everyone else was not as social as me. I'm not a social guy so that's pretty sad.

I was amazed with myself because of how I held myself. I admit I was scared and intimidated at first but after a while I adapted pretty well. The clients were positive and open to ideas which helped me open up as well. After a while of listening to them and studying their personalities, it got easier to speak up and drop lines. Clients are people too, and each one has their own quirks.

The biggest thing I learned though was that you shouldn't be afraid to step up. Most people see their work as just a means to earn money. They give reasons saying it's not their passion. I read somewhere that passion is not simply something that you like doing. Passion is something you make happen and feel for something bigger than yourself.

And when you do awesome work with that passion, that just feels good.

Making a name for myself

Lately it's all been about work. The start of the months are always busy for me because of all the production reports that have to be submitted. I've given myself the moniker Dataman in the office to describe what I do and I guess that kind of makes it more interesting in the office. People are starting to catch on with  it and call me that as well. I don't know why I do that and it's not the first time I made a name for myself. When I was still a strategic planner at DDB, I called myself Stratboy. Yes that also caught on.

What's kind of weird though is aside from being Dataman, I think I'm getting a reputation of actually being a geeky hobbies mam. I know I like the giant robots and cartoons but lately, people are asking me stuff about which is a cool Gundam model to buy or what new game they should play. By game, I don't mean video game but roleplaying table top game. Makes me wonder what kind of vibe I really give out.

I've always thought that people hang out with me because when they're with me, they feel cool because they hang out with a geek. Or maybe They're ashamed they have a geeky hobby and know I am one of the few people who'd talk about it. Plus I don't judge, which I am really proud of.

Makes me ask myself though, do I want to be that guy? A go-to guy for anything geeky and shameful to society? Could be a yes and no.

I'd like to think all of that as an addition to who I am. It could be the easiest way I stick out but shouldn't be the only thing that defines me. I guess that's the value of experiencing new things and rounding yourself up.

But yeah, I do enjoy all the geeky good stuff.

Post Valentines and Motivation

Spent last weekend at Singapore. Wow, to be coming back and forth from that place makes me feel like I'm actually making it big. It's actually not. Combine promo flights with a mini bonus from the company and I get to fly and visit Anj. Sweet deal.

Spent the weekend eating our hearts out (food courts, buffet lunch and glorious chili crab) and visited the Mint Museum of Toys. That and go around shopping and checking out even more toys. I actually felt guilty that we were going to more toy places than date places. Still, it was okay and made me fall in love with Anj a little bit more. You know you're lucky if you can be with someone who lets you be you and loves you for it. Amazing amazing experience and worth every minute of it. 

and it tasted as good as it looks

Traveling far to reach a loved one is always worth it.

All this makes me feel guilty that I skipped a day of work but this is what I think I need to actually get motivated. In my experience nothing gets you more motivated than being away from work. When that first day comes after your vacation, work just feels easier to bite.

Last few days I was helping out the training team over at the company. They lack trainers and borrowed me for management training facilitator. I was to retake the class again and make sure that on the next batch, I would be conducting some of the modules. I've always wanted to know how it feels to teach so I'm pretty excited for when that time comes. This distraction I'm willing to fall for.

The need for steps

I think now is a good time to finally admit I'm stalling. I used to really be into applying for schools abroad but now I've lost momentum. Why? It could be a lot of things. Work's gotten busy but interesting. Hanging out with old and new officemates makes me forget that I've got plans on leaving them behind. The comfort of home and family is also hard to get out of. When I think about it, I could stay. Live a simpler life working for a paycheck that could get me things I want every so often. Right now is actually OK.

stuff i can buy for myself right now

But then again, I don't want to be. As much as I'm scared as hell to get the MBA ball rolling again, I feel like I shouldn't settle. There are a lot of things to do out there and I'd be stupid to miss out on the experience. To keep me for the idea I think: What the hell? It's just two years. It will fly by fast.

So now the plan is taking steps. No matter how small, and make sure it's going forward.

Yesterday was Valentines and love is still in the air for me. I'm off to Singapore this Friday to meet up with Anj, for a post Valentines Valentines date. Only spending 2 nights but it's worth it, plus promo flights are cool.

My take on Valentines? Share the love.

Delays but worth it

Went out to the beach last weekend with my high school friends and it was pretty memorable. It's been years since we had a trip together so when the opportunity presented itself I bit. It cost a lot because it was a last minute booking but it was worth it. Let's just say that there was a lot of good and bad in that trip. I want this to end good so I'll start with the bad.

On the way to Boracay, me and my friend Howie found out that our flight was delayed in the airport. I'm used to a delay of 30 minutes to an hour but this one was big. It was 4 hours of boring in the Terminal 3 departure area. Since I came straight from work I didn't have the will to complain but it was still a b*tch. That was four hours of our weekend beach trip. 


And just when I thought that was the only delay, our flight back home was canceled so we had to book a new flight and an extra night at a hotel. Howie and I had to stay another night while everyone else was going home already. While that seemed to be a good thing, for me it wasn't. For some reason, I had a sudden attack of homesickness and ended up to be a buzzkill for Boracay first timer Howie. I don't know why I felt that way but maybe the feeling of being left alone or being away from things made me feel lonely.

Made me double think on the whole study abroad thing. Could I really make it? Would I feel the same way when I'm on the other side of the world? How bad would it be? Yep that was what buzzkill JM was thinking about during the extended day.


But that was the bad part of the trip. The good parts all happened in the middle. Hanging out with my close friends from high school, meeting new people and rolling down a hill inside a giant plastic ball. It was a great weekend even though it was short. We ate our hearts out and met some new friends. I know Boracay is supposed to be this big party beach but I was glad I was with people who were not out to get sh*tfaced. I don't hate drinking, I just like remembering what happened and not swearing off drinking the day after. I never hang out with those friends as much as I should so this time was alright.

enjoying

So all that made the trip worth the hassle. When I finally got home, I've had nothing but good feelings about it. I learned  not to pressure myself too much. Schedules may be broken and things may seem bad but once you realize that this would just be another memory in your life, you've got to loosen up and enjoy. Keeping bad memories up in that head of yours is just sad. Don't do it. Things can always be better.

I felt useful and a bit of fear today

Work was pretty good. Found myself in one of those situations where I was actually helping people out. Well, more than the usual at least. Found some solutions to some problems and contributed during meetings.It's a really good feeling.

Flip side to this is that I don't see or feel any results yet. The office is heading towards a place that rewards results and not effort, and as much as it sounds bad, I can't help but agree. For things to stop being "work in progress", things need to get done. It amazes me how much the company has changed since I left. Everyone's being driven to step up and make things happen. Good energy there.

Funny thing happened during the last meeting of the day, I was asked what my goals for the next 6 months were. I mentioned the reports I was doing and my plans of making them useful to managers and then...blank. CEO says, if that's all you're doing then why not just hire a part time? I felt total fear for my job for one second. Of all the things I know I did, nothing came up and out from my mouth. Was me doing this or that count as a goal? Was I actually getting things done? Was it confirmed I was playing too much ping pong? Crap!

But then things came back and I was able to come up with other stuff to do. Still don't know if those counted as actually useful goals to help the company progress but they passed for today. Next week's a powerpoint presentation of each department and I think that's when I should make up for it. Time to make a super presentation of my one man team and blow their minds away.  

 Work is fun.

Just like when I was a kid

I also celebrated my 28th birthday when I got home from the trip. Had a small grill out party and although it had a low turnout of people, it was still fun. I think as you go older, the parties become less about how big they are and wasted everyone gets and rather it becomes more of seeing people you don't really get to see that often and keeping in touch with the people that matter. Amazing what you realize when you get older.

Plus in line with getting older, my nephew celebrated his birthday right smack on my birthday January 9. He couldn't have his on December 24 since no one would come to that party. Anyway, another reminder that we're all growing up. There is actually a younger generation now in our family that would have those big outrageous parties. I feel bad but I can be cool with that.

Glad to know though that there's another generation up there that feels the same way I do. My dad took me out during my birthday morning to get me a gift. Any grown man would say "Dad, I'm 28 so stop doing this", but I just let it happen, most probably because it made me feel like a kid again and it sounded fun. I also know my dad likes getting me scale models because we share the hobby. He does the hardcore army/navy ones and I do the giant robots.

Anyway we hit Toy Kingdom and check out the Gundam model kits. For a while, I felt the shame: being 28, in a toy store and with my dad there to buy me something. But then I realize this is probably my dad's way of wanting things to stay the same. With us getting older and all, the old man probably wants to remember the times when he's pick us out toys when we were kids and that great feeling bringing home something awesome to play with. So the shame suddenly means nothing as i realize just how cool my dad and this situation is. We look around and pick out the most badass looking one and head home.

And just after a few minutes after getting into the car, I open up the plastic and take a peek inside...

Crazy badass Gundam kit.

So that officially ends my holiday season.
As things change around me, may the things that warm the heart stay the same.

How was Korea?

Korea was great. The country was beautiful and has some great tourist spots. I'd recommend it to anyone who likes a lively city with a real rich and fun culture.

It was my first time to see snow and it was actually also the first time Anj and I took a trip by ourselves. Usually it's us with some friends but this time it was us alone wandering the city of Seoul, in search of koreanovela sites and Korean scenery. I think this was also a milestone in our relationship because we've reached the stage where we fight and fight but still end up OK in the end. It's like we're already a couple that's annoying to others and it's awesome. I can't help but feel that our relationship is stronger than ever.

Yep, that's our Ultraman/Ultragirl lock over there.

When you're in a relationship, trips bring out the worst in each other. But from that comes and experience worth happening again and again. I'm already sure we're going back to Korea for another round.

New year, new season

The year's starting off great. It was our two year anniversary with Anj yesterday. Went out and had a good lunch and last minute shopping for our anniversary trip.

Fely J's. Try it.

Today, we're headed for Seoul, Korea for a vacation. I'm checking the weather and it says it's damn cold. Good luck to us.